And so, my family is officially moving to Iowa on the 19th of June. Yeah...bum deal to the max. I avoid things, including emotions and reality. Just avoid it altogether. Not one of the better qualities that I possess, but it's just something I do. For a while there, I really didn't think this move was going to happen. I was being pretty selfish because I was excited that they didn't have anyone interested in the house. Awful thing to be excited about, I know. But, again, I tend to be a little selfish at times. When they broke the news to me that the house had been sold, it was like I had been hit by a semi-truck. I heard that annoying "screeeeeeeeeeeech" sound inside my head. I wasn't quite sure how I should have reacted to the news. Should I be happy? Sad? Excited? Angry? All of the above??? I honestly don't know how I'm going to react when it happens. The great thing about it is that I have an amazing support system. My friends and family are wonderful and I know they will be there for me until the very end. I may need a lot of shoulders to lean on. This is going to kill part of me for a while, but I will move on and I'll become a stronger person after this. I truly didn't expect to live in the same state as my family for my entire life. I've been spoiled with that. I think what I'm mostly afraid of is that I'm going to miss out on my little brother and sister's lives. Ugh...I don't think anyone could possibly understand how much that tugs at my heart. Tears are welling up in my eyes right now at the very thought of it. I haven't been a huge part of their lives as it is, and now many regrets are surfacing. This too shall pass, this too shall pass. I gotta remember to just keep swimmin', just keep swimmin', and to keep moving forward. Two quotes from Disney movies in the same sentence :) That's how I roll.
Anyways, I dedicate this to my family. I will miss you very much. I'm hanging in there the best that I can. And in a crazy way, I believe that this will just bring us closer rather than push us farther apart. I love you guys. Don't worry, be happy :)
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There are so many things that I could and want to say right now but all that you need to know is that we love you. You are not going through this alone and I'm glad you have family and friends around you to support you. I've always said I will be there for you, it doesn't matter where we live. We've all had to make choices, some more challenging than others and have to live with the results. This is a choice that your father & I had to make for the good of all of us. You may not see that now but hopefully in time you will. This is not easy for anyone but it will be what we make of it. If we all try to see some good out of all this, it will make it that much easier for all of us.
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