Bring on the new year

This Christmas kinda blew. I dunno. I was never really in the "Christmas spirit" for some reason. I was just living through it. Don't get me wrong, I got amazing gifts from everyone and I was really excited to give my presents, but I still wasn't really satisfied with everyone's reactions. I mean they all loved my gifts...I can't really explain it. I've been in a sort of funk ever since my co-worker walked out on me. I hate change. I hate coming back to such a huge change. I don't like it when my little world has been tampered with in such a big way. It's frustrating. But I'm doing the best that I can. I'm dealing. There are so many changes that are about to happen and I need to man up and accept them all. Let's see...we got my weight loss, my family moving, my job, going back to school...Change is inevitable. It's always happening. I'm a fool to think otherwise. I need to suck it up. I don't have to like it, but like I said, I need to accept it. Life would be boring without change. So incredibly boring. And I think that's part of my problem. My life doesn't have enough change going on. I have the same routine practically every day (weekends not included). Get up, go to work, come home, bed, get up, go to work, come home, bed...How boring is that?? I'm like a robot. I need to live. I need to take the time and go out with my friends on week nights. So what if I get an hour or 2 less of sleep? I can catch up the next night :) I hate going to bed on the week nights though. I've joked about it with my coworkers, but I truly mean it. The sooner I go to bed, the sooner I have to get up and go to work. Isn't that an awful way to think?? Nobody should live like that. Nobody. And yet, here I am. Living the life I always dreaded to live. I need some excitement. That's my new years resolution - excitement. Next weekend, I'm going through my closet and getting rid of all the clothes I don't wear anymore. I going through all the junk I own and I'm throwing away the stuff I don't use. I'm ready to look change in the eye. I'm embracing it, welcoming it with open arms. This is what I need. Some of you are probably laughing, but I'm taking baby steps. I will overcome this! :)

Anyways, this blog turned in to something I really wasn't expecting. Didn't mean to rant like that. But I must admit, I do feel better! Happy New Year! :) I hope you all had an amazing holiday. Thanks for reading.

Feeeeeelings....

Ever notice how when you're upset or frustrated during the holiday season, people will tell you, "Don't worry, Christmas is coming." As if that's going to make everything better. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. But it doesn't fix my problems. It just puts them on hold for a day. Most of you know that I had pink eye all last week and that I was out of work until Thursday. Well, on Wednesday my co-teacher went on her lunch break and never returned. She just left. Mind you, I was out sick and had no idea this was going on. She had my phone number, she could've sent me a text message telling me she'd had it. She owed me that much. So on Thursday, I went in feeling pretty good. I was looking forward to getting out of the house 'cause I had been cooped up for four days. When I walked into the building, nobody in management had the courtesy to tell me that my co-teacher quit. None of them. I was there for an hour before I heard it from one of my other co-workers. I was absolutely devasted and I had the hardest time holding back my tears all day. I felt like I was being overly sensitive about it. But I mean, we were good friends! It was the last thing I was expecting. I mean, I don't blame her for doing that to the company, but she kinda screwed me over too, ya know? It's so selfish. Now it's my mess to clean up and I'm so tired of cleaning up everyone elses messes. I'm mentally drained. I don't like going into work, feeling like a prisoner. Yes, that's what I feel like! Once you go in, you don't know when you're going to get out! True story. It's been quite stressful there. I have kids in my class who are a pain in the friggen ass and they don't belong to me. They belonged to my co-teacher. Ugh....So frustrating.

I'm hanging in there, guys. Just waiting for that awesome job to come. Sent in 2 applications last week. Keep your fingers crossed. I need all the help I can get!

Anyways, Merry Christmas guys. Thanks for reading.

Sick Day

Alrighty, so somehow I've managed to get pink eye. Awesome, right? I can't even remember the last time I had pink eye. It's so embarrassing though. I look completely stoned. I went to the doctor today and he recommended that I stay home from work until Thursday (heck yes!). When he first saw me, his jaw literally dropped. He told me he hasn't seen eyes this bad in a long time. So here I am, sitting at home writing a blog with big, pink, puffy eyes. I woke up this morning and my eyes were literally glued shut because of all the nasty gunk. I had to pull them open. Oy vay. The doctor seems to think it's all my sinuses acting up and it's just coming out through my eyes. LOL Wow...

Enough about that. Ten days left until Christmas. I can't believe that. I don't feel like I've really had time to enjoy it at all. It all seems to be happening and yet, I'm not really embracing it. I don't really know why. But I'm still just excited. I've found some really awesome gifts for people and I can't wait for them to open them :) Yay.

Anyways, nothing else to report. Just wanted to write a small blog since I have nothing else to do and I can't really leave the house looking like this. Happy Holidays :)